So I just got back from watching a pretty lackluster 2009 NBA All Star Game with my buds Kegmeister and Delv, and even though I've several more important things to do, I had to weigh in on Nate Robinson's "Kryptonite Dunk" from last night's installment of the annual Slam Dunk Contest. For anyone not in the know, in last year's competition Orlando Magic Center Dwight Howard took home the prize after donning a Superman outfit and Tomahawking a pretty bad ass jam from damn near the free throw line (Seriously, check it out: he pretty much flew the ball into the hoop.)
This year, Howard upped the ante on the bit with a phone booth transformation before throwing down a dunk on a 12 foot hoop, although the sequel didn't prove quite as popular as the original. Soon after, New York Knicks' 5' 9" point guard Nate Robinson ended up taking the whole show by donning a Kryptonite-green jersey, sneakers and ball and dunking over top of Howard's head, Lex Luthor style. You can read about the jam in the paper or get a comic reader's point of view at Comics Should Be Good. But while the initial impulse for many a fanboy may be to pat themselves on the back because their hobby inspired some famous athletes to get overly theatrical, I had to come out and let everyone know that I just can't get behind praising Robinson's performance.
"Why is that?" you might ask. Simply put...
ROBINSON'S GAME WINNER WASN'T THAT SICK OF A DUNK.
Go ahead and check out the video 'round the 1:15 mark and you'll see what I mean. Sure the idea is cute and all, but even ignoring the fact that Robinson had to leap frog off Howard's back to complete the feet, the actual dunk just falls pretty flat. It's all flash and no follow through. Nobody said, "Holy shit!" when he laid it down. The three of you reading this may argue, "So what? It was a cool idea," but I for one want a dunk, superhero or otherwise, to blow the doors off a joint. Howard did that last year, and no one did it this year despite all the costuming.
Just because I like comics and basketball doesn't mean I have to own a copy of "Steel" and it doesn't mean I have to accept sub-standard dunks because they come in capes. Better luck next year, guys.
And while I'm on the topic of next year, Lebron James' whole "semi-officially throwing his name into the consideration pool for the 2010 Slam Dunk Contest" thing is totally weak. Come on, Lebron. Everyone's been waiting for you to get in on this for like five years, and there's no way you won't be allowed in if you want it. Cowboy the fuck up and just announce you'll be there. Lame.
6 comments:
None of these men are Dee Brown.
I remember when I was a kid and watching these and just LOSING MY SHIT when someone would break a glass backboard during a dunk. That was tops for me. I remember HOPING someone would break one during even gym pickup games or during just REGULAR games on TV.
Someone should bring that back. I'm looking at you, Kiel.
Amendment: none of these men are Dee Brown OR Cedric Ceballos.
As a Celtics and Suns fan, those back-to-back dunk contests were the shit for me.
Dude! Ben, I didn't realize you and I were both Dee Brown fans. This is a major moment of epiphany for me.
Kiel, you wanna get a mini-trampoline and go bust some backboards in the park next weekend?
Just bust the balls out of them, guys. Do it for me. And tape it.
Once when I was in college, my bass player and I played a game of one-on-one in a foot of snow in mid-January for the express purpose of drawing a crowd to give away genuine Flint-style Coney Island hotdogs to. It was called "Hoops For Dogs." It was so much fun.
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