And for some reason she's seen damn near every episode of "Lost."
Each week of the series last season, I'm opening up the blog to mom to share her thoughts on what happened. I guarantee that those of you who like to read blogs digging in to the metaphorical underpinnings of the show looking for clues and analysis will almost certainly get nothing out of this. And thanks to this site for the screencaps.
Let's begin.
THE PART OF THE EPISODE SHE LIKED BEST
"Claire was taken over by the Smoke Monster and Sayid will be too, so it will be those three against Jack. Don't you think? Something like that. It's very stupid now. Claire has gone kooky, and how can Jin now realize who all the kooky people are?
[If I was with somebody who was putting an axe in a guy's chest, I'd lie to them too.]
"That's a little hard to swallow! It's too implausible of a story, that's what's wrong. This story isn't fun. Do you think this is fun?
"Claire's been in the woods for three years? She never would have survived."
[Me: "Well, the Smoke Monster taught her up some survival skills."]
"Oh yeah, right! Her friend. [Laughs] It just gets dumber by the minute. This is not wrapping up. How many more episodes do we have to watch? Nine or ten?!?!? Lord have mercy. 'Big Love' only has two episodes left. On that, they chopped a guy's arm off. That was kind of shocking. You talk about an axe to the chest...it's all the same thing. It's just there for shock value, see? Put that on your blog: on 'Big Love' they chopped off a guy's arm, and on 'Lost' they chopped a guy with an axe. Same difference.
"And if John's there, where is Sawyer?"
THE AUDIENCE IDENTIFICATION CHARACTER
"I love Hurley. 'Why haven't we seen this lighthouse?' 'Well, maybe we weren't looking for it before!' God, there were some dumb lines in this episode. 'You've got ink on your forehead!'
"And that lighthouse wheel...is that connected to the big wheel down in the cave? It must be.
"Hurley's going to quit being used for a while because Jacob said to him, 'Sometimes you just have to get into the back of a car and they do what you want, and sometimes they have to stare out into the ocean.' That was stupid. It's all about trust....and stupidity. It's all about who trusts who and who is stupid."
THE EXCHANGE THAT BEST EXEMPLIFIES MOTHER AND I'S WEEKLY CALLS
"The kid with the piano. What was that about? Did you see the goatee man was this with his own kid. Jack's going to remember his parallel life, and then he going to realize all those people are intermingled."
[Me: Well, did you feel anything for the characters? Did you have some sympathy for Jack?]
"I felt nothing. No, I don't have any sympathy for Jack. I just thought, 'Well, this is a dumb part of the story that you never heard of before. Here we've been through five seasons, and we never knew he had a child.' "
[Me: I'm telling you...this is an alternate reality where Jack has a son even though he never did before.]
"No, that is not true! No no no!"
[Me: Yes it is! When he's on the island, he even says to Hurley that he'd make a terrible father. He has no son on the island.]
"Yes he does, dummy! I don't believe in that concept. No no. No. I don't believe that concept. If you ever write a story like that, nobody will buy it."
[Me: Except for ABC who would run it for six years and win multiple Emmys with it.]
"On Big Love, they all have three wives and they chopped a man's arm off. It's the same story. Perception is reality. Remember that."
2 comments:
She's not lying about that Big Love thing. That is real.
I've never seen a single episode of lost, or talked to my mom, but I found this hilarious!
Post a Comment