And for some reason she's seen damn near every episode of "Lost."
This week, our ongoing "discussion" again racks up multiple episodes in one all-fun go round covering the two episodes before the final two. Surprisingly, I think mom's kind of starting to enjoy this in the last few weeks leaving her with less to disparage against. Maybe. Sort of.
Thanks as always to this site for the screencaps.
Let's begin.
ON "THE CANDIDATE"
"That was melodramatic when Jin and Sun died, wasn't it? Oh my Gosh! So far fetched! And Sayid redeemed himself by blowing himself up. Yeah, right. This is getting too bizarre when they're killing everybody off. And stupid Claire! There she sits...'Where are you going?' 'To do what I started!' God, Claire is the most oblivious person on this show. She's crazy, and she thinks Locke is her friend. Bleh!
"If they all get killed, I'm going to say I wasted my time totally. I think I've wasted my time already, to tell the truth. But when the main characters are getting killed off, you know you're in trouble. But it was at least kind of interesting tonight. You did go, 'Oh my Gosh!' but it's not interesting enough to make you put down your game on your phone. I may have missed a couple of beats, but I can't give it my undivided attention. So it was interesting, but I thought if they kill everyone off, I'll be so mad. And Hurley cried when Jin and Sun were dead! That was dramatic.
"But with Jin and Sun, he should have been able to get her out of there. And she would have said, 'You better go to Los Angeles...our kid is there!' Any mother would have said that. Whoever wrote this story was not a mother."
"I don't see what the parallel reality has to do with anything."
[Me: "The theory is that the parallel reality is what would exist if the Smoke Monster gets off the Island."]
"I don't believe that. Who said that? Oh, the online people! I don't think they know much."
[Me: "Well, there are a few mysteries left to be solved here."]
"The two Jacobs or whoever they are...the good and evil people. Jesus and the Devil! We've got to know what's going on with them."
[Me: "And we've got to find out who Jack's wife is. Since we know he has a son, everyone is assuming the mother is Juliet."]
"What? Juliet?!? Why would the mother be Juliet? And we've got to know what ever happened to Desmond. There's a lot of unsolved people left out in the Boondocks...people that got buried alive and Juliet. I swore she was going to come back to life, but she was on another show! Maybe she'll show up on 'Dancing With The Stars.'"
[Me: "I still want Walt to show back up."]
"They had to get rid of all the kids because you couldn't drag all the kids along on a parallel reality. [Laughs] Kids need more attention than that. They got rid of every kid in the story!"
[Me: "Well, the story was only taking place over a few months, and the actor was growing at a faster rate so keeping him around wouldn't have made any sense."]
"Well, it doesn't make any sense anyway! How can he help it make any more sense when it doesn't make any sense in the first place? Anyone could tell you that. I think it's all a big hoax. They got everybody invested in watching this stupid story, and it didn't go anywhere."
ON "ACROSS THE SEA"
"If we're supposed to be in the Garden of Eden, I'm going to be mad."
[Me: "It's not the literal Garden of Eden."]
"I think it is. I think your wrong on that. That's what they're alluding to. And how come we never get to hear the Black Smoke one's name? I think it's because he's the devil. And why didn't Locke know what those skeletons were if he's the Smoke Monster?"
[Me: "That was a flashback to like season one or two."]
"That was a flashback?!? I never saw that! Oh good grief, who can remember Season 2. You nerds are the only ones who can remember that far back. That's been blotted from my memory. [Laughs] Oh my God! I do not recall that at all. How can you remember Season 2 if you can't remember the season you're in. I don't think the average Joe thinks about all these little threads."
[Me: "Think of it this way. If you read a novel and the first chapter has no impact on the end of the book, that wouldn't make any sense."]
"When I read a novel, I go forward and read the end and then go back and look for the significant parts."
[Me: "I don't think that's how the average Joe does it, Mother."]
"Oh, I think they do. That's the way I do it. If it gets too intense, I skip ahead because I like a happy ending. I don't think this is going to turn out that way. But I don't remember this flashback. I should consult with [my friend] Liz and [her daughter] Emma on 'Lost.' They're as perplexed as I am. I betcha they don't know about this stuff...I'll call you right back!"
[Mom hung up on me and called back ten minutes later.]
"Ah ha! Liz and Emma don't remember any of those flashbacks! I'm telling you, the average person doesn't remember this stuff."
"Here's what I think [about the Man in Black: if you die and then you can never leave, then everyone's going to be there in limbo forever: Jin and Sun and....oh, I got it! They're not in Heaven or Hell. They're in Purgatory!
[Me: "They're not in Purgatory. They've said that in the past
"Who said that in the past?"
[Me: "The creator of the show!"]
"Oh, I'm not going to trust him! I can't wait to hear the creator of the show after all this is over with."
[Me: "Oh, they've already announced they're not going to do any interviews on the show once it's done."]
"OH MY GOD! [Laughs] They're going to be like a famous author who doesn't give any interviews! Do they think they're J.S. Salinger or what? Who cares about two skeletons in a cave? All I know is that even though they're dead, they're all still floating around on The Island. That is the definition of Purgatory!"
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