Breaking Subway News Update!

No doubt you all recall my epic expose on the history of the Subway sandwich chain. Well, earlier today, I received the follow communique from my former intern, Frank DeAngelo (pictured to the left), rock star and member of the band Modern Hearts Break Faster (EP available now)...

Hey Ben,

I was just reading through your blog and I saw your entry about Subway. From 2002-2004, my band was sponsored by Subway (like sponsored-sponsored: free subways at all locations, they bought us a van, new equipment, paid for our cell phones and gas -- all we had to do was play under some "Subway" banners sometimes and sign autographs at their booths at music festivals).

Anyway, I got to know one of their VPs very well, who was also in charge of marketing, and variety of other stuff (he actually designed their logo, too).

One day, I brought up the "subway cut" to him, asking him why they changed it -- he told me a few things. First, it tested poorly in focus groups -- which I can't understand because its like the company's trademark thing that makes a subway sandwich, a subway sandwich. They said it was too messy (which I said was stupid because now with the new cut everything slips out the sliced side or the grinder breaks on the unsliced edge). And he and I went back and forth about this -- OK I know its ridiculous, these people were throwing money at me and this was my biggest concern with the company :) But also Subway was trying to create a new image, I was told, and that's when the logo because italicized, "eat fresh" was introduced, and to shake things up, the new cut was supposed to signal in the new "Subway."

...go figure...

Then the company instructed all franchises to do away with "subway cut" and told them to deny patrons if they requested it...

Well...this is truly disturbing and horrifying. It is disturbifying.

I don't know what kind of sick, hipster demographic actually enjoys this "new" Subway, but I would like to meet them and slap them all in the face with an OLD SCHOOL steak & cheese.

But hey, real talk: it's not their fault. The kids who have grown up in this totalitarian 1984-like Subway regime don't know what they're missing. It's the corporate fatcasts with their "focus groups" and their "eath fresh" who are keeping us all down. They're letting young men like Frank, who still has the temerity to use the term "grinder," suffer needlessly as their lettuce floods out the side of their Italian BMTs.

It's not right and it's not going unnoticed. The movement grows every day. You won't win this one, Jared.

Viva la revolucion!