Folks, you ever want to give your bro a proper attaboy and just don't have the words? Well that's where Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk comes in handy; in particular, the section on Praiseology (n.) Phraseology that can be used to praise all that is good in this world
This is dedicated to all my bros working hard this week to prepare for San Diego Comic-Con International, beginning in seven days; it ain't easy, and y'all deserve some serious praiseology.
atrawesome - Atrociously awesome.
blechtacular - Spectacular in a disgusting or vomit-inducing way.
ferawesome - Ferociously awesome.
Flyatollah - The king of being fly
guydol - A guy that you idolize, perhaps excessively.
nadmirable - Admirable because it took some serious nads: "Dude you told your boss to suck it? Nadmirable!"
nadvantageous - Something that's advantageous to your balls: "It would be nadvantageous for you to shut the f--k up."
perb, perior, preme - Expressions used to indicate that something is superb, superior, or supreme.
threediculous - Three times as ridiculous as something that's ridiculous.
totally awessible - Something that's totally possible and would be totally awesome if it happened.
It's gonna be a totally awessible next couple of weeks, bros! Let's do it!
Showing posts with label developing a brocabulary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label developing a brocabulary. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Developing a Brocabulary: Types of Bros
It's been far too long.
Yes, following more than a year's hiatus, I am once again cracking open the pages of Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk to explore it's hallowed teachings.
The topic this time around is a simple yet vital one: some different kinds of bros, as covered in the chapter Brommunication (n.) The art of communicating in a brophisticated manner, with or about your bros
sack pack - A bunch of dudes traveling in a group, or a cock flock. When they turn into a door jam by jockeying to get into a club, they're known as a bluster cluster, and when they storm a party they're known as a bro storm.
cerebro - The bro who does the thinking for you. You're R2-D-Dude and he's C-3P-Bro.
guyamese twins - Two bros who are pretty much inseparable (eg. Batman and Robin, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, Michael Knight and KITT)
PAL 2000 - when a bro who seems to have your best interest at heart suddenly turns on you like HAL 2000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey, usually by giving you bad advice and claiming it's for your own good: "The dude was my brother half until he PAL 2000ed me by convincing me to dump my girl and then hooking up with her. He totally soaked me in traitorade."
wannabro - A dork who tries to be a bro but is nothing but a wannabe. Sometimes referred to as a wannaDB as in "Dude, you're not even a douchebag, you're a wannaDB."
Vincent Van Bro - A bro who is so loyal he would cut his ear off for you.
Yes, following more than a year's hiatus, I am once again cracking open the pages of Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk to explore it's hallowed teachings.
The topic this time around is a simple yet vital one: some different kinds of bros, as covered in the chapter Brommunication (n.) The art of communicating in a brophisticated manner, with or about your bros
sack pack - A bunch of dudes traveling in a group, or a cock flock. When they turn into a door jam by jockeying to get into a club, they're known as a bluster cluster, and when they storm a party they're known as a bro storm.cerebro - The bro who does the thinking for you. You're R2-D-Dude and he's C-3P-Bro.
guyamese twins - Two bros who are pretty much inseparable (eg. Batman and Robin, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, Michael Knight and KITT)
PAL 2000 - when a bro who seems to have your best interest at heart suddenly turns on you like HAL 2000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey, usually by giving you bad advice and claiming it's for your own good: "The dude was my brother half until he PAL 2000ed me by convincing me to dump my girl and then hooking up with her. He totally soaked me in traitorade."
wannabro - A dork who tries to be a bro but is nothing but a wannabe. Sometimes referred to as a wannaDB as in "Dude, you're not even a douchebag, you're a wannaDB."
Vincent Van Bro - A bro who is so loyal he would cut his ear off for you.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Developing a Brocabulary: Barticulation
Been a bit since I've done one of these, but there is still much to be gained from the pages of Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk, so let's do it to it.Now I myself have for better or worse been off the drinking wagon for the better part of a year now, but that doesn't mean I don't still enjoy a trip to the local pub. So in honor of both my buddies who I'm sure will be putting up a tab that makes the national debt look like small potatoes at my wedding as well as the hard working men and women of the alcohol service industry, of which I was once a part of (story for another day), it's time for some Barticulation or Articulation that occurs at a bar, or that applies to boozing it and losing it.
bartificial intelligence - The fake intelligence that occurs when you're drunkenly rambling at the bar.
barjack - To take over a bar by force, whether by brolling deep or by being obnoxious jackasses: "Dude, let's go to Futtbuckers!" "But it's trivia night." "So what, we'll just barjack the place. Put on your boots, there's going to be a bro storm!"
bar par - The number of drinks that it's appropriate to consume at a given bar. "Dude, this is the Swiggin' Brigand--you're six shots and one funnel under the bar par."
barsenal - Your alcoholic arsenal. "I always keep absinthe in my barsenal--the stuff is ginamite."
benderdome - A one-on-one drinking session cum competition between you and your bro in which "two men enter, one man leaves," in the tradition of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. It's up to you whether you want to go as far as incorporating a Wheel of Fortune that outlines fates such as Amputation, Gulag, or Thirty Hours of Lifetime Television.
Wow, there's lots of good stuff in this chapter, so we'll revisit at a later date.
(This entry dedicated to the original Naked Trojan and one of history's greatest drinkers, Mr. Abraham Lincoln--and there's a story there too)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Developing a Brocabulary: Stylinguistics
The following pearls of wisdom from Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk are dedicated to one of the smoothest, most stylish fellas I know, Mr. David Paggi, because today we're talking about Stylinguistics or Language that pertains to the elements of style.
Or in other words, "Who cares whether it's the clothes that makes the man or it's the man that makes the clothes--what matters is that the clothes make a woman want to..." and we'll stop short there.
brawndescension - The condescension a brawny individual shows towards a less well-developed specimen: "My trainer said I was developing a nice three-pack, but I think he was being brawndescending."
cloutfit - An outfit that shows how much clout you have via French cuffs with twenty-four-karat links, a diamond-encrusted Brolex watch, a bespoke suit, polished wingtips, etc.
credlocks - Dreadlocks sported by a white dude to try to establish cred in the black community.
darecut - A haircut you get on a dare: "Dude! There's a penis shaved into your head!" "Yeah, it was a darecut. I get to use Tim's Lotus for a night if I go into work wearing this."
doucheshave - A shave befitting a douchebag.
flaircut - A haircut with flair.
Or in other words, "Who cares whether it's the clothes that makes the man or it's the man that makes the clothes--what matters is that the clothes make a woman want to..." and we'll stop short there.
brawndescension - The condescension a brawny individual shows towards a less well-developed specimen: "My trainer said I was developing a nice three-pack, but I think he was being brawndescending."
cloutfit - An outfit that shows how much clout you have via French cuffs with twenty-four-karat links, a diamond-encrusted Brolex watch, a bespoke suit, polished wingtips, etc.
credlocks - Dreadlocks sported by a white dude to try to establish cred in the black community.
darecut - A haircut you get on a dare: "Dude! There's a penis shaved into your head!" "Yeah, it was a darecut. I get to use Tim's Lotus for a night if I go into work wearing this."
doucheshave - A shave befitting a douchebag.
flaircut - A haircut with flair.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Developing a Brocabulary: Chilloquialisms
Apologies for the shorter blogs the last few weeks, but myself and my conspirators have been busy getting ready for the first big comics show of the year, New York Comic Con, with KP returning to town for the event and yours truly being involved in a big announcement at Marvel's War of Kings panel on Friday (so check it out!).
I've been working on some longer stuff, like an ode to Wally West and new entries in Earth's Mightiest Sketch Blog as well as my Indy Odyssey, but I don't want to give release dates and then be forced to re-solicit (comic book humor!).
So while we wait, let's de-stress with some Chilloquialisms, aka Colloquialisms specific to the art of chilling, from Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk...
carbecue - 1. "Baking" a car by lighting up a joint. 2. Trashing your old car--or someone else's--by dousing it in gasoline and setting it on fire.
chilliards - Billiards, when played for the purposes of chilling with your bros.
chill-tempered - Naturally inclined to chilling. Sometimes you're so chill-natured that you become chillustrious, i.e. renowned for chilling like the Dude in The Big Lebowski.
cigarsenal - Your arsenal of cigars: "I always keep a Cuban in my cigarsenal." Note that this can also include anything you keep in a cigar box, including weed, etc.
teebauchery - Hijinks that occur on the golf links, or around a Golden Tee machine.
Enjoy, ladies and gents, and if you're attending NYCC, I hope to see you for some chilliards and/or teebauchery.
I've been working on some longer stuff, like an ode to Wally West and new entries in Earth's Mightiest Sketch Blog as well as my Indy Odyssey, but I don't want to give release dates and then be forced to re-solicit (comic book humor!).
So while we wait, let's de-stress with some Chilloquialisms, aka Colloquialisms specific to the art of chilling, from Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk...
carbecue - 1. "Baking" a car by lighting up a joint. 2. Trashing your old car--or someone else's--by dousing it in gasoline and setting it on fire.
chilliards - Billiards, when played for the purposes of chilling with your bros.
chill-tempered - Naturally inclined to chilling. Sometimes you're so chill-natured that you become chillustrious, i.e. renowned for chilling like the Dude in The Big Lebowski.
cigarsenal - Your arsenal of cigars: "I always keep a Cuban in my cigarsenal." Note that this can also include anything you keep in a cigar box, including weed, etc.
teebauchery - Hijinks that occur on the golf links, or around a Golden Tee machine.
Enjoy, ladies and gents, and if you're attending NYCC, I hope to see you for some chilliards and/or teebauchery.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Developing a Brocabulary: Brommunication
Welcome back to Developing a Brocabulary, where we expore the wit and wisdom of Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk!
Let's get back to basics with Brommunication, The art of communicating in a brophisticated manner, with or about your bros...
abroha - A way to say "hello" and "goodbye to your bro.
bropacetic - Copacetic among bros; the opposite of fellodrama
And finally, because I'm turning 27 in 20 minutes...
brostalgia - Nostalgia for something you did with your bro or bros.
When you're in your "whoring twenties," you and your bros probably spend about 75% of your time doing awesome stuff and 25% of the time talking about the awesome stuff you did as a teenager.
Amen. Happy birthday, me!
Let's get back to basics with Brommunication, The art of communicating in a brophisticated manner, with or about your bros...
abroha - A way to say "hello" and "goodbye to your bro.
bropacetic - Copacetic among bros; the opposite of fellodrama
And finally, because I'm turning 27 in 20 minutes...
brostalgia - Nostalgia for something you did with your bro or bros.
When you're in your "whoring twenties," you and your bros probably spend about 75% of your time doing awesome stuff and 25% of the time talking about the awesome stuff you did as a teenager.
Amen. Happy birthday, me!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Developing a Brocabulary: Spurnacular
Welcome back to Developing a Brocabulary, where we expore the wit and wisdom of Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk!
Tonight we will cover the Spurnacular chapter, which teaches all about A vernacular that can be used to spurn the dumbass mofos of the world.
Let's rock!
arrivedouchey - A variant of the Italian expression "arrivederci," used when you're peacing a douchebag.
assaulter ego - The part of you that just wants to beat the shit out of someone: "Your honor, ladies and gentleman of the jury--when this chode made a joke about my dead mother, he totally touched off my assaulter ego."
bagamuffin - A douchebag who dresses as poorly as a ragamuffin.
bagvertise - To actively show everyone what a douchebag you are: "Dude, those frosted tips are a total bagvertisement."
douchebauchery - Debauchery as perpetuated by douches.
More to come!
Tonight we will cover the Spurnacular chapter, which teaches all about A vernacular that can be used to spurn the dumbass mofos of the world.
Let's rock!
arrivedouchey - A variant of the Italian expression "arrivederci," used when you're peacing a douchebag.
assaulter ego - The part of you that just wants to beat the shit out of someone: "Your honor, ladies and gentleman of the jury--when this chode made a joke about my dead mother, he totally touched off my assaulter ego."
bagamuffin - A douchebag who dresses as poorly as a ragamuffin.
bagvertise - To actively show everyone what a douchebag you are: "Dude, those frosted tips are a total bagvertisement."
douchebauchery - Debauchery as perpetuated by douches.
More to come!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Developing a Brocabulary: Deuceappear
For Christmas, Rickey, because he is awesome, got me this:
If your eyes aren't so good, here's what it is: Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk by Daniel Maurer. Essentially, it's a guidebook for rad bro phrases to use when speaking with the special dudes in your life. Periodically, I'm gonna post some of these phrases. In honor of the bro who gave it to me, I'll kick things off with Rickey's favorite entry from the book thus far...
deuceappear - To disappear in order to drop a deuce; split and shit.
The entry is pretty lengthy for this one, so here are a few highlights:
...as you know, when someone is in your immediate pissinity--i.e. standing at the urinal next to yours--you have a choice between the thousand-tile stare (staring straight ahead at the wall tiles in a zen-like trance) or the pants-down glance down (fixing your gaze on your own member). When the urinals have no privacy barrier, you're obliged to employ the thousand-tile stare, lest your neighbor think you're giving him a "glans glance." When there is a privacy barrier, it's a matter of personal preference...
...of course, somestimes you just have to tell your bro, "Tough shit, I'm taking a dump." That's fine, but at least have the courtesy to wear a stall shawl--take your shirt off and wrap it around your shoulders to keep it from absorbing the stink...
More to come!
If your eyes aren't so good, here's what it is: Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk by Daniel Maurer. Essentially, it's a guidebook for rad bro phrases to use when speaking with the special dudes in your life. Periodically, I'm gonna post some of these phrases. In honor of the bro who gave it to me, I'll kick things off with Rickey's favorite entry from the book thus far...
deuceappear - To disappear in order to drop a deuce; split and shit.
The entry is pretty lengthy for this one, so here are a few highlights:
...as you know, when someone is in your immediate pissinity--i.e. standing at the urinal next to yours--you have a choice between the thousand-tile stare (staring straight ahead at the wall tiles in a zen-like trance) or the pants-down glance down (fixing your gaze on your own member). When the urinals have no privacy barrier, you're obliged to employ the thousand-tile stare, lest your neighbor think you're giving him a "glans glance." When there is a privacy barrier, it's a matter of personal preference...
...of course, somestimes you just have to tell your bro, "Tough shit, I'm taking a dump." That's fine, but at least have the courtesy to wear a stall shawl--take your shirt off and wrap it around your shoulders to keep it from absorbing the stink...
More to come!
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