Sell American Gladiators to Me and Rickey

I don't know who owns the rights to the TV show American Gladiators, but they need to sell the rights to make a comic book out of it to me and Rickey.

We talked it over on the train this morning and we're reasonably certain we could take Gladiators and turn it into the most awesome licensed comic since Captain N: The Game Master. Here's the pitch:

It all starts when Nitro returns from a self-imposed exile to outer space (oh we'll get to why down the road...don't you worry...) to find the Gladiators have scattered to the four winds in his absence. Feeling abandoned by his friend and mentor, Turbo becomes a dark avenger, prowling the streets of Gotham City (we've got a Gotham City) preying on the criminal element. Can these two brown-haired bombshells become the World's Finest Team once more?

Meanwhile, with the original Laser having sacrificed his life to save Universal Studios during Crisis On Infinite Earths, so Hawk has taken his place, proving to be much more interesting and successful in the process (so we'll probably bring Laser in 20 years once everybody has gotten used to him).

On the other side of the planet (or something), Thunder has revealed himself to actually be Thor, banished to Earth by his father, Odin (jerk) to learn humility or whatever. He doesn't have Mjolnir, so instead he has two hammers, like the, the kind you use to bang nails into the wall and such.

And this whole time, the Martian Manhunter (hey, it's not like anybody else is using him) has been posing as Zap because he loooves having boobies (that was Rickey's idea).

We don't know what we're doing with Gemini yet because the dude certainly deserves his own series. The newly engaged Ryan Penagos is working overtime to think of something.

Of course while Nitro has been away and the Gladiators have been disbanded, a new team, led by the Incredible Hulk Hogan, has arisen in their place. Feared and hated by a world they've sworn to gladiate(?) in front of, these Gladiators have their own agenda, and that agenda isn't very nice!

And who knows what role the WMAC Masters will play--whose side are they on?!

So do the right thing, guy/girl/conglomerate who owns the rights to American Gladiators--pass 'em this way!

...

Holy crap, I can't believe I just wrote so many words on this. I am so sorry.