Making Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?! Episode 3

Have you checked out the latest and greatest episode of Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?! yet? If you haven't, well, you're seriously depriving yourselves, my friends. Not only does "The Problem With Pirates" feature M.O.D.O.K. and the Punisher dressed as pirates, it's also got USAgent, Ch'od, Howard the Duck, David Hasselhoff and the vocal talents of Brian Michael Bendis in the role he was born to play!

In all seriousness, Alex Kropinak, the wunderkind of Marvel.com Studios, has gone above and beyond with this one in creating animation I'll hold up against anybody who wants to lay claim to the title of "professional." If you've got four free minutes (and you do, because you're reading this blog), give it a watch and then come back.

Funny shit, no?

Now if you're done enjoying, as a little bonus, I thought I'd share some of the uber-professional and ultra-elaborate behind-the-scenes process that went into making this particular episode of MSH: What The--?! For reals, I'm gonna spoil stuff, so if you haven't clicked that dang link yet, do it!

-The genesis of this particular episode came about a month or so back when John Cerilli and I were sitting around the Marvel.com offices talking about the Somali pirates stuff and how we wanted to use that somehow in the show both because it would be at least semi-topical and pirates=funny. I came up with the twist that it should be pirates of the illegal Internet download variety and we started spitballing from there, coming up with the rough outline and many of the gags. If I recall, loath though I am to give her credit, it was Margarita Vaisman who came up with what the acronym for P.A.R.R.O.T. stood for (she actually almost always manages to toss at least one good idea into these little brainstorming sessions).

-That night/the next morning, I jotted down the outline that John and I had created and e-mailed it out to our ace writing staff, which in addition to us and Alex includes Ryan Penagos, Jason Harvey, Ramon Olivo, Sean T. Collins, Jon Gutierrez, Peter Olson and Jesse Falcon (yes, it takes at least 10 of us to come up with this gold). Almost immediately, Sean earned his paycheck by suggesting "we need to have the Punisher dressed as Jack Sparrow." He's that good, folks.

-I went over to Jesse's office, where he has every Marvel Legend in existence, to figure out what obscure heroes should join USAgent's team (although initially we just had Captain America until we realized USAgent fit better here). We already had Howard the Duck picked because it's Howard the Duck and Ch'od because Ryan and I are 12 and like to pronounce it "chode." We ended up deciding we didn't need anybody else (mostl because we alread had enough characters to make Alex's job a pain), but I did come up with a bit I want to use later in having two Xorn figures who finish each other's sentences ala Tomax and Xamot.

-John has a genius stroke of using David Hasselhoff's likeness from the "Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D." made-for-TV movie he did in the 90's as a Life Model Decoy. A quick call to the Mighty Marvel legal team later and we're off to the races!

-Figure customization voice recording begins! Alex begins to ignore sleeping and eating while the rest of us sit back, smoke cigars and laugh and laugh and laugh.

-I remember that Arune Singh of our marketing department is the biggest (and only) USAgent fan I know and suggest he voices our hero. Irony that he is Canadian is not lost on anybody.

-In a nice bit of coincidence, Bendis is visiting the offices as the finishing touches are being put on the voiceovers and I bring him down to Alex and company's domain for a video interview. While we're there, after he makes Alex cry a bit inside by suggesting that painting Pyro figures to look like A.I.M. Agents is "a ridiculous thing to get paid for," he records a voice. High fives commence as Alex weeps.

-Alex tells me on a train ride into work that he watched "Unleashed" over the weekend to get ideas for stuff Howard the Duck can do during the big fight scene. I start to get nervous for Alex's sanity.

-I win the battle to make M.O.D.O.K. a fan of chick flicks.

-On another train ride, Alex shows me his storyboard for the aforementioned Howard scene; as always, I am blown away by how good this kid is.

-Alex disappears for like a week and somehow at the end we get an episode of Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?! The crowd goes wild!

And...scene. Keep watching for more!

Paragraph Movie Reviews: The Hangover

If you don't have plans to see this movie, you can check the spoilers here and then come back.

This was a perfectly acceptable dumb comedy (and when I say "dumb comedy," I mean the genre of goofballs getting into stupid situations for laughs, not in a derogatory way). It's a pretty formulaic "a bunch of crazy shit happens in the course of three dudes looking for something" plot without a lot of elegance, but it's still plenty funny with some bits that are very clever and even a few that are downright hysterical. The "piecing together the night they don't remember" bit is lifted pretty directly (whether intentionally or not) from "Dude, Where's My Car?" but is still a helpful plot-mover. The physical comedy is really well done and the leads are just some flat out talented dudes. Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper do what they do best as the dork and the asshole they respectively always seem to play, but that's kinda the clarion call of this movie: don't fix it if it ain't broke. Zach Galifianakis is the breakout here as he has a creepy awkwardness that makes you uncomfortable but also makes you just need to laugh; he really milks every line without being ostentatious about it. It's always nice to see Heather Graham and Jeffrey Tambor, but the small doses here just leave you wanting more. And man, Ken Jeong just cracks me up. Overall, this film does nothing wrong, it's simply not going to transcend its niche like "Wedding Crashers" or "Anchorman," and y'know, that's fine, it's decently entertaining and you won't come out feeling like you didn't see a funny movie (and stay for the credits because they may be the best part).

Linko! IX

There is so much going on with me and comics this weekend that I can barely keep my head straight. I'm in New York. MoCCA is a scant 32 1/2 hours away. Let's see how many of these things I can post before I pass out.

* A lot of folks noted how British punk band Art Brut both employed Essex County cartoonist and upcoming Vertigo creator Jeff Lemire to draw the cover of their new album and wrote a song called "DC Comics and Chocolate Milkshake" on said album, but it was on Foink where I found Under The Radar magazine's photo set of the band touring the DC offices. My biggest question:

Is that seriously the only photo they got of Dan Didio? REALLY?!? Actually, aside from some fun shots of the band looking like 12 year olds at Christmas and an appearance by the back of Karen Berger's head, there were a few things I giggled about in the photo album...particularly whenever I imagined what conversations the band was having with tour guide David Hyde.

* Other photo album link: found my buddy Josh on Twitter, and he pointed me to this visual history of credit cards in the U.S. over at Slate.

* I'm generally bewildered by how the occasional random PR person will actually find my e-mail address when it's totally not listed, but sometimes they're not too annoying about sending me things like what I thought were kind of fun pictures of Wolverine sneakers that probably cost too much to do anything but look at pictures of them:


* Google Ads on your GMail are the darnedest things. Prime example: after jawing with some friends about I think Brian Bendis via e-mail the other day, the wizards of Google alerted me to this page reviewing of Marvel's MarvelKids.com website for concerned parents. Apparently, reviewer Dana Villamagna thought that the games on the site might be a spot too violent for kids under 7. Look, I know I'm not a parent and so my opinion doesn't really mean squat, but if you've got a 6 year old boy who's scared of a game where the Hulk jumps in the air and bumps into robots, you need to toughen that kid the fuck up and quick. Seriously, GM went bankrupt this week, which by my calculations means little Trevor has about a 10% greater chance he'll be living in a gamma-irradiated wasteland of America before he's 30 anyway.

* Speaking of the slow death of the once powerful company and by extension my beloved home town: I don't condone most of what Michael Moore says about GM or Flint, but this essay on what we citizens should do as the majority shareholders of GM is pretty good food for thought.



* O! M! F! G! Rob Liefeld is giving away Deadpool sketches to every 100th Twitter follower he gets between 1,600 and 2,000 people. I want one SOOOOOOOOOO bad. Why do I want one so bad!?!?!?!?!?!? (Pic Via)




* Two interviews you should read: A 1967 fanzine interview with Stan Lee reposted at Johnny Bacardi's and a current profile of Joe Simon at the always cool Graphic NYC Project.

* Beyond that, I'm spending all of my non-working hours today focusing on what I'm buying at MoCCA. Tracking down advanced word of all the cool stuff that will be on sale at the show can be pretty tough, but thankfully Brian Heater at the Daily Crosshatch tracked down a lot of advanced word on what folks are bringing. The MoCCA show is quite possibly my favorite comics event all year, and I was really bummed to miss last summer. Thankfully, this year's show is making it up to me by having booked Seth. God, I love comics so much, you guys.

* Wow. That last link didn't have one bit of swearing or stupidity in it at all, did it? We...we just can't go out on such a positive note.

* Oh, I know, how's about I repost a bunch of pics Sam has up on her Tumblr of wanna be models decked out as skimpy versions of superhero comics characters?

For a second there I thought someone might be likely to take something I wrote on this blog as heartfelt and serious. Glad that moment's over.

If you're at MoCCA, look for me. I have brown hair!

Pimping My Stuff: War of Kings: Warriors #3

As long-time CKT afficionados may recall, Crystal is not one of my favorite characters. Imagine the complex range of emotions I experienced then when I was told that one of the feature characters in War of Kings: Warriors would be, you guessed it, Crystal.

Fortunately, I had the formidable skills of writer Jay Faerber on my side, and he actually is a fan of Crystal. He brought me around to seeing a not-so-bad side of the Inhuman I so loathed, and working with him as well as my editorial gurus Bill Rosemann and Michael Horwitz, I daresay we created a story that even the most avid Crystal hater (that would be) can really get into and that War of Kings fans should certainly not miss.

War of Kings: Warriors #3 (technically War of Kings: Warriors - Crystal #1, but that's a mouthful) has a kickass story by Jay also featuring the gorgeous art of Adriana Melo and Mariah Benes (seriously, it looks smokin') and is currently available on Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited.

Bottom line, guys: I edited a friggin' Crystal story--can you really tell me you're not a little curious?

A JLA Darkly

I was messing around on the Wizard Universe Message Boards the other day and came across a thread about picking the ideal JLA lineup. Somewhere along the way, the talk turned to who be members of a Dark JLA, ala the Dark Avengers.

Ok, I'll play.

The Steel Knight (Lex Luthor)
If anybody in the DC Universe is gonna pull the wool over the general populace's eyes and make a bunch of bad guys seem like the top heroes in the world ala Norman Osborn, it's gonna be Lex Luthor, who, y'know, already somehow got elected President that one time. He's got the smarts, the powers of manipulation, and the motive to stick it to Superman, Batman, et al. Given that those two dudes are the primary source of Lex's frustrations, I think he'd do like Norman did with the Iron Patriot and create an armored gestalt of their personas--hence the Steel Knight. Lex would then go into full PR mode, manufacturing events and positioning his JLA to save the day, ala what he did during 52. As for who would join him...

Batman (Jason Todd)
I think Lex and JT would be a match made in heaven (or that other place). Jason really needs a father figure, and Bruce Wayne wasn't hardcore enough for him. Lex would probably dig having an heir of sorts, especially if it sticks it to Batman. Plus Jason just recently dressed up as Batman and would likely have no problem doing so again and even acting the part of the virtuous hero he once kinda was to get on the nerves of his "family." I guess he's kinda the Daken of the group.

Isis
I thought about Black Adam to fill the "Wonder Woman" role, but Isis is a better fit, and not just because she's actually a chick. She's powerful and she does have some degree of popularity with the DCU rubes that Lex could manipulate; he could play up the whole "she was used by Black Adam" angle to gain her some sympathy and rehab her public image. It also helps to have at least one genuinely good but confused hero on the team and Isis fits the bill here. Of course Lex would have to get Adam out of the way somehow...

The Flash (Zoom)
Hunter Zolomon already thinks of himself as a hero, so it wouldn't be impossible for Lex to get him onboard here, but he's also a very unstable personality and a very powerful player. Still, you gotta have a speedster and I'd say Zoom is the best bet and best fit.

Aquaman (Ocean Master)
Easy choice here as Orm not only hates his brother and longs to take his place, he has also worked with Lex in the past as part of his Injustice Gang during Rock of Ages. The major drawback to Ocean Master as Aquaman is that he doesn't actually have any of his brother's powers, but when you've already got Zoom and Isis on the team, you're already pretty well set in the power department and the look is more important here. Plus, a martyr wouldn't exactly hurt the cause...

Martian Manhunter (Clayface)
The folks on the boards didn't get why I would pick somebody who didn't possess J'onn's telepathy and other powers to pose as him here, but you gotta think like Lex: you're putting together a group of volatile personalities like this and already don't trust anybody, the last thing you want in the mix is a wild card telepath who can throw the balance of power off in a direction potentially not yours (that's also why you may notice guys like Deathstroke didn't make this list). Clayface is dumb, easy to manipulate, and can look like the Martian Manhunter--that's all you need.

Green Arrow (Merlyn)
No-brainer as Merlyn has got the archery skills to pose as Green Arrow and can be easily bought. Hotheaded Ollie would likely take offense and rush into a confrontation with the Dark JLA that Lex could steer to his advantage.

Black Canary (Lady Shiva)
Since she taught Black Canary all the badass fighting skills she already knows, Lady Shiva would be an perfect choice to take her spot on this team. Since she is mostly just motivated by looking for a good fight, all Lex needs to do is promise her plenty of action; he would have to be wary of her sense of honor and respect for the actual Black Canary though. As for the lack of a Canary Cry? Lady Shiva doesn't need a Canary Cry.

Superboy (Match)
Lex is probably going to devote a good deal of his time after he gets this operation up and running trying to recruit the real Superboy to follow in his footsteps. Employing Match could be stage one of a master plan. I also see this need to have his "son" on the team as Lex's potential downfall as Jason Todd will get pissed off, splinter the group, and send everything crashing down...

Got your own?

Ben's Indy Odyssey: Cursed Pirate Girl #1

Rickey asked me to grab this for him last week at Hanley's, which I did, but I was unable to pass it to him until today, so all weekend it's beguiling cover was staring at me, enticing me to read. I hesitated because the paper stock looks really nice and I didn't want to somehow mess up Rickey's comic, but the Texas Outlaw himself gave me the thumbs up, so I dove in.

Glad I did.

After I got the gist of the premise--I'd call it a tale of unlikely friendship between two girls infused with a dash of whimy and touch of adventure, were I writing ad copy--I was a bit skeptical that a 27-year-old guy like myself could enjoy what seems to be at its heart a fantasy story aimed at young girls, but I found it utterly charming and possessing an appeal that should definitely not be limited to a narrow demographic.

The titular Cursed Pirate Girl is a rad character, no two ways about it. A snarky little girl who beats up mean boys on the beach using swordfighting skills learned via dreams of a pirate father who she's never met? Yes, please! And the trope of having a wealthy governor's daughter become enamored of this adorable rogue is a worn one, but for good reason; it's uplifting but also a good tension-builder and watching the rich girl fence with her father's esteemed guests to his mortified embarassment is just fun.

But as good as the story is and as entertaining as the characters are, no doubt the art is the blowaway centerpiece here. Rickey described the work of Jeremy Bastien (who wrote, drew, etc. this) as a cross between like three dudes I don't know, but I do know I like it. You can see him working his ass off to fill every inch of every panel with a million little lines to create a crazy, vibrant world where a nutty story like this can justifiably take place. I love his exaggerated character designs and over-the-top body types, as well as how the little girls stand out in a world of grotesque adults like it's Alice in Wonderland or something. I will admit that his panel layouts lost me sometimes, and I had to read the last five or so pages a couple times to figure out what was going on, but I dug the experimentation and was happy to take the extra time, which I wouldn't say for a lot of comics.

Cursed Pirate Girl didn't alter the face of comics or art or anything for me, but I really had a good time with it and it was a neat little dose of fun. As far as mainstream comics fans are concerned, if you like Runaways, I'd seriously recommend this, as the two are very simpatico.

Hopefully Rickey will be unable to purchase the second issue on his own and need me to grab it for him again.

Couldn't find anywhere to order this online, but you should go to your local shop and ask if they've got it in stock. The publisher is Olympian if that helps. Here's their web site. And here's Jeremy Bastian's site.

16 Thoughts on the MTV Movie Awards

I wasn't actually planning on watching the MTV Movie Awards this year, but I was waiting for Megan to finish reading a chapter in her nutrition textbook and figured Andy Samberg's opening bit would probably be funny, so I tuned in. Said bit was funny, so I kept watching until Megan finished so she could see and then she was like, "Let's just keep watching, there's nothing else on."

And so we did.

1. Andy Samberg was a hilarious, excellent host. Why? Many reasons, but interestingly enough, I'd say he and Hugh Jackman have something in common: They enjoy their gigs. Jackman had a good time at the Oscars and Samberg seemed to have a good time doing this; it didn't seem like it was a job for him. Also, this show was so much about young Hollywood, most of whom take themselves a bit too seriously sometimes, and he seemed to have a good knack for giving them shit for that without coming off as a total dick. It made the awkward moments seem a little more funny-awkward as opposed to uncomfortable-awkward.

2. I almost called this "1a." since it feeds pretty directly off the end of my last thought, but then I remembered "2." comes after "1." Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but I could really see the divide between the older and younger segments of Hollywood on this show, and it made for some weirdness. It really felt like a bunch of funny adults trying to put on a good show with neat skits and whatnot and then kinda getting embarassed when these kids were coming up on stage every two seconds and acting like, y'know, kids. When Miley Cyrus won her award and ended her acceptance speech by giving a shout-out to Samberg's "I'm on a Boat" and they cut back to him looking really uncomfortable, I felt like I was watching nine-year-old me trying to convince my teenage cousins I was cool (I was very much like Miley Cyrus at nine). I alternated between feeling bad for Anna Faris for having to give the girl from High School Musical an award to feeling bad for Zac Efron because everybody made fun of him. There's probably a longer rant here, but I don't really feel like going any further with it right now.

3. Yeah, Twilight kinda ruined the show a bit. I'm not saying this from the perspective of somebody who hated the movie, because I never saw it, but it kinda kills the fun of an awards show when you know the same movie is gonna keep moving, particularly when the stars of said movie seem to hate accepting awards. Say what you will about the High School Musical kids (and I'm not sure what you would say), but they at least seem happy to be acknowledged; I hate to say shit like this, because I always come down on other people for juding celebrities only by viewing them through the public eye, but the Twilight kids always seem so miserable to be promoting their multi-million dollar movie that has made them stars. Megan did note that while Robert Pattinson just seems kinda endlessly smug and trying to seem too cool for school, she couldn't tell if Kristen Stewart is the same or just really shy; as I said when I reviewed it, I liked her in Adventureland, so I hope it's the latter (and speaking of that movie, it was kinda neat to see her get her Best Kiss award from Ryan Reynolds, though they seemed strangely uncomfortable with one another...or maybe they're just really method).

4. Back to Samberg, he seriously stole a half dozen lines/jokes/facial expressions from Rickey. My boy doesn't have cable, so he couldn't see, but he's gonna watch it on YouTube this week and be either flattered or litigious.

5. Man, I don't wanna be that guy...but Megan Fox looked really rough. I didn't know that was possible. Maybe she was trying to prove a point?

6. I don't even know what to say about the Bruno/Eminem thing. I think it was legit. Sacha Baron Cohen is lucky he didn't get his ass seriously beat. There is some strange irony in that a decade ago Eminem was the one making celebrities uncomfortable and now he was on the receiving end, but I hope this doesn't sour him on promoting his comeback.

7. The Samberg/Will Ferrell/J.J. Abrams (what?) short about tough guys walking away from explosions was classic. I think Will Ferrell has turned a new corner on his career after that early phase where he was really funny and then middle phase where he was overexposed and playing the same part over and over to being funny again; this pleases me.

8. Leann Rhimes, Chris Isaak and Forest Whitaker doing Lonely Island songs was funny, but I was hoping it would just be a build to LI actually performing...which it was not.

9. Amy Poehler and Hayden Panitierre (I'm not spellchecking that shit) essentially did the same bit about profanity, but despite Poehler going second and having half the time, I'm sure you can guess who was funnier.

10. Leighton Meester: young Hollywood's best hope.

11. I have no idea why, but the werewolf kid from Twilight, him I like; I'd shoot hoops with him.

12. Oh man, that Ben Stiller thing was hysterical. Efron gave a big f-you to being shit on all night by being funny, Triumph was great, and Kiefer Sutherland totally earned kudos from me by not taking himself seriously at all. Ripping off the Oscar presentation model was a stroke of genius.

13. Not only did Kate Winslet lose in an acting category, Anne Hathaway was nominated in the same category...for Bride Wars. The MTV Movie Awards, gang.

14. I'm pretty sure Jim Carrey did not deserve to win anything for Yes Man, but it was worth it to set up the voiceover gag. Also, I could totally see in Carrey's demeanor that he was thinking, "I was winning these things 15 years ago, then I tried to be a serious actor, and here I am again...fuck it."

15. So why couldn't they give an award to Heath Ledger during the show?

16. I would say it was an atrocity for Denzel Washington have to present a Best Movie award to Twilight, but I won't. You know why? Because Denzel Washington is incapable of doing anything without instantly bringing dignity and credibility to it. (And also it was sweet that he seemed to be there for his daughter)


That is all.