Linko! XL

* Big Star's Alex Chilton died on St. Patrick's day. What sad news.

If you're not aware of Chilton's life and music, you could do worse with a Friday afternoon than checking out the blog of Bruce Eaton who literally wrote the book on one of Big Star's signature albums. And I made a beginner's mix of some of Chilton's music both with Big Star and solo and a few covers/tribute tunes in there as well.

There are also solid obits at places like the Commercial Appeal, the NY Times, Rob Sheffield at Rolling Stone and a very nice essay on the impact of Chilton and Big Star by Sleater-Kinney alum Carrie Brownstein on her NPR blog (last one via).

More, you say? Well, this short piece on all the bands that were influenced by Chilton from the glory days of Revolver magazine before it sucked was nice to read as was Whitney Matheson's collection of videos of more folks like Elliot Smith and the Bangle covering Big Star. And if you're a recording engineer nerd, this intense rundown of the sound used to record "September Gurls" – one of the all time great pop songs of all time ever – is fun. And you can hear Chilton from some old "Fresh Air" interviews.

Finally, my boy Jesse Thompson sent me this video of Chilton on "120 Minutes" back in 1985 when I didn't even know there was a "120 Minutes":



* All right, let's talk comics! My extreme thanks go to David Pepose at Blog@Newsarama for reminding me with this post that my alma mater Michigan State University will be continuing its annual Comics Forum – a part academic conference, part gallery show anchored this year by a keynote from "B.P.R.D." artist and East Lansing-area local Guy Davis. I missed last year when fellow son of Flint David Petersen spoke at the conference because of family stuff, but I think I might be able to make this year's event. Stay tuned!

* Semi-related: Kind of bummed I didn't know Andy Schmidt was coming to Libertyville near Jami's school until after the fact. Still, fun report on it here.

* Why not Beta Test Longbox?

* From Tom Spurgeon: this Golden Age-era Wonder Woman letterhead is kind of mind blowing. Did they make this back when Wonder Woman was part of All-American but not DC? I wonder. In any event, thanks to Irene Vartanoff, a lady you should read up on here, for sharing.

* I really like reading people's analysis/theories as to what's coming next in Grant Morrison's Batman & Robin especially when folks are smart and show their work. Thanks, David Uzumeri. Thanks, Mindless Ones.

* Real news story: Weed banned on the Iditarod.

* Checking out Geek Week this week, I dug Jeff Katz's roundup of classic Red Wings/Avalanche fights and this piece pointing out how much of a total dick that Nicholas Sparks guys seems determined to make of himself.

* My buddy Joe writes about the fucking egos on writers and many other things.

* As much as I've spent the last few days feeling crummy about Alex Chilton passing, I think I'm going to feel worse this weekend as I watch the Health Care bill get put through the paces. Just so we're all a bit more informed about the historical context of what's about to play out, here's a great visual chart of how Reconciliation has been used in the past. (Thanks to Slayer)

* Just so we can wrap on something really nice, let me just add my voice to the many who think Jon McNally's theoretical all-ages Martian Manhunter book should be pitched to DC and then immeadiately greenlit like yesterday. (Props to JK Parkin on this one)

Melrose Memo XIII: Stoner Canyon

The facts: the original Melrose Place is probably my favorite television show of all time. I could write an essay on why, but let's just leave it at "it is" for now. I have waited patiently for a decade, and now at long last my beloved Melrose has been remade for a new generation...but will it be any good? That is what I will explore here each Tuesday night (or Wednesday evening) in the Melrose Memo. I understand that those of you coming here for comics, movie or general geek news probably have little to no interest in hearing my thoughts on this program, but people--it's Melrose Place.

Now, as my friend Sean would say, read on if you wish, but do not allow me to spoil the elaborate mythology of this show for you; in other words, watch before reading!

How could an episode with an amazing name like "Stoner Canyon" go so horribly wrong? I'm not sure, but boy did this one get way off the quality tracks early and often. I daresay this may have been the worst installment yet of a remake that hasn't inspired much confidence in awhile.

Heck, despite my wit and brilliance I'm not even sure this blog will be any good, but I owe it to you, reader(s), to at least try. And so I will.

-When David is talking up Ella to Jonah in the first scene and Jonah expresses reluctance to go after her because he's generally attracted to what he basically describes as bland girls like Riley is both incredibly telling and nails spot-on a big reason why he and the show are floundering. I wish I thought the writers were giving an ironic wink as opposed to being completely oblivious as they DIAGNOSE THEIR OWN FUCKING PROBLEM.

-Michael nearly killing his patient by missing his Penicillin allergy is fantastic both because Michael has been a renowned doctor for years and because his response to Lauren's concern about him essentially amounts to "I'm Michael Mancini--I shake off dead wives and murder charges in my sleep." Even if everything else is going wrong with this show (and it pretty much is), Thomas Calabro may still be reason enough to tune in.

-"Ella can get Jonah on the cover of Variety but not get promoted above junior executive?" -Megan with her usual astuteness.

-Oh good lord they are making Amanda such a weakling. This isn't just bad writing on a bad show, it's the destruction of one of the best female characters in television history. She's really using WebMD because she's having chest pains and getting diagnosed with panic attacks? This is a woman who BEAT CANCER IN THREE EPISODES! I don't WANT to be able to relate to her!

-This episode is driving me to CAPS!

-Billy Campbell has more charisma than most of the cast.

-Between Jonah's ridiculous success getting his movie sold and Riley parlaying her first-grade teaching experience into a job at Ben's multi-million dollar company, this show is making professional success in L.A. seem way to easy. To be fair though, so did the original; I was seriously considering going into advertising following college simply because I figured if Billy and Alison could do it so well by essentially making high school-level dioramas, it couldn't be that tough.

-Hold up--Jonah's movie is a romantic comedy? I'm pretty sure he outlined it a couple episodes back and it was some sort of sci-fi Butterfly Effect rip-off. Are they just retconning it so they can milk the situation for MORE Jonah-Riley drama? Ugh! And it doesn't get much more dumb and contrived than "I'm a big-time Hollywood actor who loved your script, but I will only do the movie if I can meet your girlfriend who the female lead is based on." Stupid.

-Did they give Brooke Burns money for that voiceover? If so, they overpaid.

-I'll note that Megan was virtually silent through this episode.

-It took me nearly three quarters of the show to remember the new guy's name was Drew. He went from forgettable to horrible pretty quick. He has me longing for the Shakespearean nuances of Auggie.

-I hate when this show has Jonah/Ella/whoever making a big deal about whatever fictional Hollywood power player they're meeting with that week since it always sounds ridiculous, like we're somehow supposed to know this made-up celebrity played by whatever actor they found outside the lot.

-Ok, once again Calabro brings the goods with dramatic chops I didn't event know he had during the scene where David cops to being Noah's real dad. And then a callback to the Peter/Michael "crashing through a window" fight! See, this is what pissed me off (among other things): they obviously showed the David/Michael stuff as being prominent in the trailer for this episode because those characters are the most interesting on the show and yet we STILL get 75% Jonah/Ella/Riley bullshit (with a sprinkling of Drew getting a belligerent patient to give him her real name by the master strategy of saying he'll fill out her form with "Dumbo" otherwise). Surely at some point somebody in a position of power maybe realized David is a far more intriguing character than Jonah, right? Why are they only reflecting that in teasers and not the actual show? The original succeeded because they listened loud and clear to us wanting more of Jake, Michael, Amanda and Sydney and less of Billy, Alison and Jane and made it happen; this one just keeps pushing the dull characters with a vengeance.

-"I have never been so bored in my life. I am thinking about my organic chem homework right now and looking forward to getting back to it." -Megan

-Oh, it's so adorable how Drew left a skeleton in the pool where two people have been murdered thus far this weekend as a goof--I like him (I don't really)!

-Ok, if you're going to put Jonah and Ella together, fine, actually do it and don't wimp out again this time. Let's see where it goes. Riley seems to moving on into some sort of thing with Ben. Great. That triangle is played out, but maybe these new pairings will work.

-I called the "I'm a vampire" joke the minute Drew said he was specializing in hemotology. If he and Riley get together I may ave to DVR their scenes and go watch them when I'm having trouble sleeping.

-Megan and I both predicted that Michael would be Lauren's "final client," but that's ok--it was inevitable! More to the point, Calabro was brilliant (again) in that final scene as he evoked the over-the-top Machiavellian Melrose of old and yet again gave me hope for the show in the closing moments of an awful episodes. Curse you, Calabro!

-But seriously, if they go with more stuff like that (Michael's scheming, his blood feud with David, Lauren being manipulated, etc.) plus rely on Billy Campbell to make Riley interesting and pair off Jonah and Ella for good, we MAY be able to salvage what I fear (or perhaps hope) are this show's final episodes. They've been way too deliberate and repetitive thus far with the show as the original Melrose was short attention span theater, so I'm hoping they'll shake things up and go for broke. Regardless, I'll be here, watching so all of you don't have to (and if the ratings are any indication, most of you are taking me up on that).

Lynn Phegley Watches "Lost" - "Dr. Linus"

My mom's name is Lynn Phegley. She teaches music to elementary school kids in Grand Blanc, Michigan. She likes classic Hollywood musicals, trashy romance novels and "Sex In The City."

And for some reason she's seen damn near every episode of "Lost."

Each week of the series last season, I'm opening up the blog to mom to share her thoughts on what happened. I guarantee that those of you who like to read blogs digging in to the metaphorical underpinnings of the show looking for clues and analysis will almost certainly get nothing out of this. And thanks to this site for the screencaps.

Let's begin.

COMPARING THIS WEEK WITH LAST WEEK

[Me: Last week you said Sayid was always a killer. This week, we get a similar choice for Ben, and he choses to be good. Has Ben always been a killer?]

"YES."

[Me: But then why was he able to give up power to let the girl get her recommendation letter? Is it because he knew from the island that it was up to him to save her?]

"Well, if they're in parallel universes, they don't know what the other one has realized."

[Me: There are some connections they don't comprehend like with Jack's surgery scar.]

"[Laughs] Well, no one could comprehend this because it's stupid. It's far too complex to be comprehended. I think Ben is having a temporary change of heart because he's an outcast. He's got no one to go with. Nobody wants him. They're all castaways in some form. They're social castaways. That's why they're stuck in this parallel universe. Because none of them can relate to other people.

"What you're seeing of the character of Ben is him in his most hyper-nerdiness. You see Jack as a great, wonderful doctor though he's not that wonderful all the time, either. You see them in their hyper-characterization. But the purest form of Hurley is on the island.

"But no one trusts Ben. He made his bed and now he has to lie in it.

"I couldn't tell you who's going to get redeemed. Who could tell you that? Sayid was always evil, but he was sympathetic as a torturer. But at heart, he could do anything that anybody needed him to do. So could Ben, though. Ben might be having second thoughts now that what's his name is saying there's going to be this big war. 'Come on to the other island.'

"But there's people with Ghost Locke who might not want to be there."


ON THEM GETTING BACK TO NIKKI AND PALO

"[Laughter] I saw Miles there with the diamonds, but I didn't realize he'd dug them up. How do you know that?!? That wasn't told in the story. You just assumed it. That's what's wrong with this story. You can't just assume stuff in a story."

[Me: Yes, you can! There are plenty of ways to imply that action has happened without showing it. He heard their thoughts from their deaths with his powers then dug up the diamonds.]

"Well, they didn't imply that very well! They didn't show anything. They just showed him looking at the diamonds.

"So what do you think they'll imply next? Do you think we're going to flash to pirate times [for Richard]? I'd like to see that!"

WHO'S GOOD Vs. WHO's EVIL

"Jack has not changed. He's just on to the game. He's knows he's invincible or something. That's why he wouldn't get blown up.

"How would I know what Jack thinks? The only person who you know what they think is Hurley. He tells what he's thinking. I'm telling you, Hurley still has good intuition. 'You better not do that, dude...blah blah blah...we better get out of here, man.' At the end of the story, he'll be the smartest one on there.

"I get the whole good vs. evil thing, but I don't care about all that. I just want to get to the end of this damn story. I'm starting to feel like not watching it, I'm telling you.

"I don't like mysteries. I just want to know the ending. And it said on the TV description 'Ben deals with a lie.' What lie did he deal with?"

[Me: He lied about killing Jacob.]

"Oh, well. The only fun thing that happened tonight was when they all met on the beach. It was like a soap opera or something. Like a romance movie. Here comes Hurley in slow motion! It was like Bo Dereck in '10!'"

WHAT ABOUT JACOB?

"That's the real thing. Whoever Jacob is, it doesn't matter. That's what's wrong with this story. I don't know who Jacob is, and I don't care. He's only been in it for two episodes. They only ever talk about Jacob, but you never see who he is. Who cares? He's just glimpsed. He's a character who's never been seen or heard from."

I JUST WANTED TO INCLUDE THIS LAST BIT

"I saw 'Alice in Wonderland' this week. I'm tired of these movies with the animation. It's like 'Star Wars' where the cards are fighting – the queens have these soldiers that are like playing cards, you know? And when they have a little battle and this scene that's all animated where there's a billion soldiers that all look the same. That is getting dull.

"I said, 'I wonder what the next thing in animation is?' and Liz said, 'I think it's "Avatar."' And I said, 'Oh God, I hope not. That looks too bizarre to me.' I don't like 3D either. It makes me seasick."

My Five Favorite Flash Figures

While I don’t own every Flash and Flash-related action figure ever created, I’ve done pretty well for myself over the years in that department…

Around when I got bumped up to my Staff Writer position at Wizard around 2005, I almost immediately set about populating my desk with as many action figures I could cram on that surface. It was an example set by our esteemed Editor-in-Chief, Pat McCallum, who had about every Marvel Legend created to that date plus a slew of DC Direct products crammed on the window sill behind his desk, and a tradition I felt proud to join.

While I amassed many figures of all kinds from Marvel to DC to pro wrestling to Mexican bootlegs I couldn’t quite identify, Flash had always been one of my favorite characters period, almost certainly my favorite character visually, and Nova didn’t have any toys (or so I thought until “Commander Awesome” himself, Jesse Thompson, proved me wrong), so Wally West, Barry Allen, Jay Garrick and their friends and foes became the dominating force on my desk.

After I left Wizard for Marvel in 2007, I figured my Flash collection probably wouldn’t blend in well at the House of Ideas, so I relocated it to a space of honor on one of our bookshelves here at the apartment in Saddle Brook and have continued filling said shelf since.

I tend to value my Flash collection in quantity over quality for the most part, but nevertheless, here are the figures I subjectively consider the best of the best.

But first, a pair of honorable mentions to two items that only I own…

Marvel Legends Dracula Flash
The aforementioned Sir Patrick McCallum surprised me one day by dropping this sucker off at my desk unprompted, because he was just that kinda boss. Seriously though: how fucking awesome would The Fastest Lord of the Undead Not Really Alive be? This remains one of my most prized possessions.

Justice League Unlimited Black Flash
Rickey made this beauty for me a couple months back and gave it to me for Christmas. Look at how much work went into this bad boy? My boy smothered this guy in black and gave it a creepy zombie look a line like JLU was never quite intended to have, but that’s what makes it rock so hard.

Ok, Top Five proper…

5. “The Batman” Shadowtek Flash
I dig the Justice League Unlimited figures plenty, but sometimes they’re a bit too streamlined for my liking; the toys that came out of the Shadowtek line from “The Batman” after the Justice League appeared on that cartoon presented kinda the next step up, adding a nice amount of detail to that template, but not so much you lose the bouncy energy of the animated style. I’m of course partial to the Shadowtek Flash, with a really neat face sculpt, the overblown upper body and those fleet little legs ready to kick it up to light speed.

4. DC Direct Super Friends Flash
The “Super Friends” cartoon was a bit before my time, and while I did catch the reruns on Cartoon Network later in life and watch the DVDs (worth it if for no other reason than to watch Geoff Johns geeking out in his Aquaman shirt on the extras) and certainly appreciate the fun and overblown innocence of the show, I’m no devotee. However, this figure is somehow instant nostalgia for something I have nothing to be nostalgic about and just makes me smile. And how could I not given that big toothy grin on Barry Allen’s face! It’s not the most well-sculpted or articulated job by any means, but there’s just something warm and welcoming about this guy.

3. New Frontier Flash
Speaking of fun and nostalgia, you’ve got this guy, from the second series of figures released based on one of my all-time favorite stories, Darwyn Cooke’s New Frontier. I’m not the world’s biggest Barry Allen devotee, but I was a huge fan of Cooke’s romantic swashbuckler take on him and everything I liked from that characterization is transferred perfectly into this figure. The face is so perfectly Cooke, with the rounded head, bushy eyebrows and exaggerated smile, while the twist of the arms and his neat little backpack accessory (not pictured above) make it clear he’s ready to kick Captain Cold’s ass or run a bomb into a giant sea monster. I also like that the figure is lithe, so Barry really does come off like a true runner.

2. JLA Classified Flash
On the extreme other end of the spectrum, you have Ed McGuinness’ bulky, thick take on Wally West, bursting with muscles and not looking like he could do much speeding, but sure seeming as if he can kick plenty of ass. I love McGuinness’ art and the way he makes every character he works on stand out and seem to leap off the page, and a nice side bonus to that style has always been that his designs look great as toys, something DC Direct has clearly clued in on over the years, putting out dozens of figures based on his work. Is this a practical looking Flash? No, of course not, I believe I just covered that. Is it an awesome looking Flash? Hell yeah! Just check out how dope McGuinness gets the details on his costume and how perfectly that little smirk comes across.

1. DC Direct JLA Series One Flash
The 2006 JLA series of figures from DC Direct is one generally overlooked by my estimation, which is a shame, because in my humble opinion, it’s one of the most well-done lines ever and produced what I feel is the best Flash figure of all-time. Though it wasn’t hugely touted, the designs were based on the work of Carlos Pacheco, who did the box art as well, and the results were awesome. Pacheco is one of comics’ master draftsmen and has a degree of skill in his pure craft that is virtually unmatched, so the composition of these figures don’t look gimmicky or goofy, they just look right, Flash particularly so. Pacheco strikes the perfect balance between the thin Cooke Flash and jacked-up McGuinness Flash to create a Wally West who doesn’t look ready to throw haymakers with Superman, but clearly keeps himself in shape with those global marathons. Toss in a nicely-muted shade of red and you’ve just got a good-looking, well-done figure that looks great no matter how you pose it.

We Loved the 90's

In the proud tradition of this much-revered post, here is another cover gallery potpourri of random comics I bought during the decade of chromium and grunge...

AQUAMAN #3

AVENGERS #368

CATWOMAN #7

THE FLASH #105

FORCE WORKS #3

GREEN LANTERN #56

HARBINGER #25

INFINITY CRUSADE #4

JUSTICE LEAGUE AMERICA #102

LETHAL FOES OF SPIDER-MAN #2

PROTOTYPE #1

RAVAGE 2099 #14

ROBIN III #5

SILVER SURFER #90

STEEL #7

WILDC.A.T.S. #14

WONDER MAN ANNUAL #2

Linko! XXXIX

* A few weeks back, my buddy Swerve and I got bombed and watched a few classic episodes of "The Ant & The Aardvark" on HuLu. [SIDE NOTE: There is some crazy animation on HuLu, y'all. Not only do they stock a ton of mostly terrible anime, they also have that "Legend of Zelda" cartoon where Link would always be like, "Excuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess!", the always totally awesome Don Bluth film "The Secret of NIMH" and whatever the fuck this is.]

Anyway, "Ant & The Aardvark" was just as bad I as remember it being from 3rd grade Nickelodeon, so I was surprised when I found out via Cartoon Brew that the characters were being brought back as part of this young-centric "Pink Panther" reboot that just started on Cartoon Network, though I think it's kind of funny that the original voice actor came back to do the bad Jackie Mason impersonation voice for the Aardvark and that Kel is now the Ant. It's on Sunday night. I think I might watch it.

* You know, I read this article called "It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs" and sure they make their case or whatever, but I'm also kind of like "Pics or it didn't happen."

* I really thought Katherine Dacey could have titled this brief, smart post "Four things fanboys who don't want to read manga should please stop bitching about" too.

* I'm insanely excited to read the few things I don't already own of Graham Annable's "Grickle" comics. Read him and read his comics at this killer Robot 6 interview by Chris Mautner.

* Not sure what I think about Sci-Fi Jesus Fish, but I don't think I'm going to buy one.

* A friend of my friend got a book deal!


* I read Len Wein's "The Untold Legend of Batman" about a zillion times as a kid, but I'd never read the Bill Finger, Shelly Moldoff joint from 1956 that inspired "Legend's" whole "my dad was Batman too!" thread until Tom Spurgeon linked to it. BOSS.

Melrose Memo XII: Oriole

The facts: the original Melrose Place is probably my favorite television show of all time. I could write an essay on why, but let's just leave it at "it is" for now. I have waited patiently for a decade, and now at long last my beloved Melrose has been remade for a new generation...but will it be any good? That is what I will explore here each Tuesday night (or Wednesday evening) in the Melrose Memo. I understand that those of you coming here for comics, movie or general geek news probably have little to no interest in hearing my thoughts on this program, but people--it's Melrose Place.

Now, as my friend Sean would say, read on if you wish, but do not allow me to spoil the elaborate mythology of this show for you; in other words, watch before reading!

Here we are again. How have your last few months been?

Anyhow, Melrose Place has returned with all-new episodes for the spring, though you wouldn't necessarily know it from the lack of promotion or fanfare. Yeah, most of The CW's pick-ups for next season have been announced and MP is not among them as of yet. Additionally, in contrast to the magazine coverage and TV commercial blitz when the season kicked off, there's been little to nothing on this return.

So yeah, getting back into the Melrose spirit feels a bit like watching the walking dead shamble their way to a final rest, but by criminy, I ain't giving up! This could all still turn around, the ratings could reverse, the renewal could come and if there's any justice I could still see Grant Show on my television screen again without having to watch that ABC sitcom with the chick from Dharma & Greg!

We're gonna keep riding this Melrose train into the station, folks, so grab your tickets and, if it's NJ Transit, be ready to stand for the remainder of the trip.

One final pre-show note: I watched Gossip Girl earlier this week and man if that two-plus month layoff didn't kill any momentum that sucker had going. Honestly though, it could help MP as the distance between the first half of the season and this new direction may work. Let's see...together!

-And we've got problems right off the bat as the recap of last episode/the first half of the season completely omits the murder mystery that was the center of the show as well as its resolution. C'mon guys, I understand that you want to put that era behind you, but what about people who may be tuning in for the first time or gave up a few episodes in and have returned who are now going to have no clue about what happened with Sydney's killer, Violet, etc.? Sloppy.

-The final scene of the mid-season finale with Jonah and Ella in bed ended with some great potential as it seemed like both characters were going to be given a much-needed new lease and the interminable Jonah-Riley relationship treadmill was finally going to end--no such luck. Right off the bat, Riley texts Jonah and he's not even man enough to call her back from the hotel room, needing to run back to the apartment. I was so pleased with the seeming clean break from this shit and am quite disappointed it's immediately getting dragged back in.

-I love how Jonah keeps alluding to Ella knowing "exactly what she wants," since bi-sexuals are notorious for that (apologies to any and all of my bi-sexual readers).

-Hey, it's Billy Campbell! No, not the beloved original Melrose Place character played by Andrew "Sadly I Would Be One of the Best Actors on this Show" Shue, but the fiercely-bearded actor who was on The O.C. and some other junk. And...oh my...seriously? After 18 long years there is finally a Melrose Place character named Ben?! Forget all the bad stuff I said!

-"I'm not sure putting flowers in a hospital room where somebody is on oxygen is a good idea." -New nursing student Megan on David's visit to Lauren in recovery.

-Having Lauren repeat "Such a jerk" like three times and then not having Michael walk in is such a swing and a miss I can't even begin to express my disappointment.

-Why is there no police tape or indeed any sign of anything at the apartment complex where Violet drowned a lady last night? And did they clean that pool?

-Ok, points for the cameo by the BPRD and Goon comics.

-"What's she wearing?" "It's a mumu." "It looks like an Indian tribal outfit." "It's an Indian tribal mumu." -Megan and I on Riley's wardrobe.

-"Is it sad that I'm paying more attention to the way her giant earring is swinging back and forth?" -Megan praising Riley's performance.

-I am shocked that when Ella said she had somebody to cater Amanda's party she had Auggie in mind. Seriously, this woman has the rolodex of a third-grader. I hope somebody needs a hooker or art thief so she can find Lauren and David work too.

-"I killed Sydney! What? Too soon?" -Megan on what she was hoping Jonah's revelation to David would be (sadly it was just that he slept with Ella).

-Wow, Top Chef and Dr. Drew references in one Ella speech? These writers have been keeping up on their TiVos over the break!

-See, this is what I'm talking about: Riley tells Vi she's "so sorry about what you went through last night," meaning the aforementioned drowning of the woman who killed her mother, but as neither the recap or a single fucking character has mentioned it up to this point, new viewers would have no idea what she's talking about! It definitely feels like they've just given up...

-Heather Locklear looks better in her dress than Katie Cassidy does in hers. Day-um. What were you thinking, Richie Sambora?

-Jeez, the people putting this show together just have no idea how to write Amanda, and no amount of magic on Locklear's part can overcome that. There's no way the real Amanda would give a shit that her nerd boyfriend didn't propose to her or even fall for a guy like Ben in the first place. They only know how to script her as an over-the-top bitch and have no insight into any other aspects of her character whatsoever; it's like they just watched a clipshow of her reaming Alison out and then figured, "Yep, got it!" but there's much more to Amanda than that.

-On the flipside, I think the same powers-that-be have way too much faith in Ella to carry the show, and it's sad what she's become given how strong a character she started out as. I know I sound like a broken record, but she can't be the "bitch" of the show when she is terrified of her own shadow and allowing Jonah to play her like a chump. They need to either give her back her claws or bring in a new alpha female (not Amanda) to bump her from that spot. Katie Cassidy is certainly capable of playing either part, but not with the material she's being given; don't believe the hype.

-"You're here?" "No, it's an illusion!" -Megan giving what should have been Jonah's response to Riley's dumbass question.

-Why is Jonah dressed like The Joker?

-Good lord, even Riley and Jonah's "good times" back in college sound lame.

-Not only is David the best character on the show even if he's only in it for about five minutes, his extreme beatdown on that sleazy dude who drugged Lauren was the total highlight of the episode! Still wish he had some interest in the death of his stepmother/baby mama and maybe what the fuck happened to the brother/son he left with Vi the night before, not to mention a reaction to that steplover being Sydney's killer he spent most of the season relentlessly searching for.

-"No, she's literally a whore!" -Megan, concerned the guy wasn't properly conveying his thoughts to David before being pummeled into unconsciousness.

-"Your kidney is in your back, you dumb shit." -Nurse Megan, who just will not let up on this poor guy as Lauren is assaulting his ribcage and he complains of a bruised kidney..

-Both Megan and I noticed that Auggie's portrayal of "drunk" mostly just involves dropping his eyes a bit and then continuing to speak with a complete lack of emotion or inflection.

-David and Lauren basically have their own separate show going that's better than the main one by far.

-I was sure when Lauren told Jonah he should crash at David's apartment she was angling for a threesome.

-"I want to remember you smiling, so that's why I watched you hysterically crying last night before I left." -Megan mocking Auggie's goodbye note to Riley he wrote before he and Violet skipped town (and the show).

-It would have rocked if Auggie and Vi didn't leave on camera and next episode somebody just mentioned they left as an aside, like when Duke came out of his coma in the G.I. Joe movie.

-Do they really think a fucking art theft mystery is going to have better legs than the murder mystery they completely lost faith in? Ugh.

-Man, maybe the most frustrating thing is that no matter how bad this show gets, they still manage to always make next week's episode look awesome! I'm now psyched for an hour of David, Michael and Amanda being rad, but I'm sure we'll get at least 45 minutes of Jonah, Riley and Ella talking in circles and going nowhere instead. Sigh. Whatever, I remain forever optimistic.